Pacifica (autumnwinds) wrote,
Pacifica
autumnwinds

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I'm kinda wondering if I have mono. I've been wondering for a few weeks, actually. I've had mono once before (in 10th grade), but it was a pretty mild case and I wouldn't be surprised if I have it again.

If it is mono, that would explain the low level headache, sore throat, swollen glands, and epic fatigue* I've been experiencing for the last few weeks. However, it would not explain why Tyler is fine. If I have mono, so should he.

Hrm.

*I'm just tired during the day...no naps...but my motivation is low and I've been sleeping for 10-11 hours at night.



I'm trying to stay positive about the job stuff, but it's hard. It's especially hard that I've been sending job apps out into the world for two months now, and have gotten almost nothing back. I had that job interview back in January, and I got an email a few days ago saying I didn't get another job (one I didn't really expect to get, so it wasn't a huge blow), but that's all. Apart from the auto-response emails I get when an application is sent, I've heard nothing.

The handful of jobs that I think I would be really good at have stated that they intend to make a decision within 45 days. It's been about 20 so far. I don't know whether it's good that I haven't heard anything (after all, the other government job emailed me to say I wasn't picked), or bad that 20 days have gone by and I haven't even gotten an interview. I'd like to call or write someone a nice letter expressing my interest in the job and checking on the status of my application, but most of these job apps just get sent to major hiring centers who aggregate the paperwork and send it on to the appropriate party. I wouldn't have any idea who to call.

I think (hope) part of my worry about this is that I've never had to work this hard to get a job before. My first kite store job hired me right off the floor, my food service job had a very high turnover and needed me (well, it's food service), my applications for herbarium work were largely a formality, and my summer jobs at UI were also pretty on-the-spot hiring. Only Taylor Ranch was hard. So, maybe this stress and time and not-knowing is normal.

Part of the problem is that I'm being job-choosy. I could easily get seasonal work, but it would probably involve a move (expensive), seasonal jobs don't pay well, and in October we're right back where we started with a long unemployed winter to get through. Seasonal jobs are great for students. I'm an adult now and I want to work year-round.

Some days I'm gloomy and I'm sure I'll never get a job, and Tyler and I will eat up all our savings and live in a cardboard box while Pan hunts rodents for us. Other days, I can cheerfully put the world in perspective...we have a warm dwelling, plenty of food, savings, good friends, supportive families, debt-free college educations, and each other. We have everything in the world going for us.

I know something will come along eventually. I just want it to be soon.
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