December 11th, 2003

Sierra Night

(no subject)

Wow, it feels like I've been gone for a while.

I've just been fried with school. I spent ALL last weekend studying for Monday's Mammalogy lab final (names, skulls, and skins of about 150 species, and got the high grade!) and finishing my humongous gigantic research paper on the minimum viable population size of Snake River prairie falcons. Monday finished out my Mammalogy lab.

On Tuesday, I had my last BS interdisciplinary class, and turned an equally BS assignment for it. I also did my GIS assignment and worked on my Population Ecology lab, and studies like hell for my Anatomy lab final. Also, our internet went down that morning and we didn't get it back until this morning. It was probably for the best.

On Wednesday, I went to a job workshop, took my huge ugly Anatomy final (blood, the heart, the respiratory system, the digestive system, the renal system, and the reproductive system) which finished my anatomy labs, went to the last Soil Stewards meeting of the year (in which I got up on a chair and gave an anti-campagin speech, begging everyone not to vote for me because Claudia nominated me out of spite and revenge), and then went to Pullman. My Aunt Jodi and Uncle Jeff were there on business, and Tyler and I went and spent about 2 hours with them at dinner and 3 talking in their hotel room. I miss my family. I hadn't seen them in ages.

Today I had my last history class (the plague AND Joan of Arc!) and my last mammalogy class (we talked about snot). Then I came back to the house and frantically tried to finish my two population ecology lab assignments that I hadn't had a single scrap of time to do the whole previous week, went to lab (last one), turned them in, did an in-class assignment, and came back here.

...

I'm still really stressed out. The problem with me is that I get so keyed up and strung out when I'm in high academic stress mode that it's hard for me to drop it. When I come home at the end of the semester, it takes me DAYS to relax again. I hate it, but I don't know what to do about it. Even now, I just have one assignment tomorrow that's already done, but I'm hyper-alert, freaked, nervous, shaking, heart racing, sick to my stomach, bad headache, and it's going to take me ages to sleep. I wish I knew a better way to tell my subconscious that it's going to be okay.
  • Current Music
    Alanis Morissette: "King of Pain"
Sierra Night

(no subject)

A health-related thing.

Last Christmas, right before Tyler surprised me in Seattle, Jason and I flew back from Disneyland at New Year's and I immediately came down with a terrible cold. I was really sick...feverish, snotty, sleepy, throaty, sneezy. It took me weeks to get over it, and at the end it settled in my throat. I had a bad cough for about a month, coupled with a few days of laryngitis in which I really couldn't speak.

The disturbing thing about it is that I don't think I've completely recovered since then. I don't sing as much as I used to because I've lost most of my range and my voice doesn't always make the notes that I'm telling it to...which was previously rare. When I talk, my voice is lower and scratchier, and very often I'll squeak, change octaves, or my voice will just stop in the middle of a word and I'll be mouthing.

It's really been bothering me, but even more since last night because my Aunt Jodi noticed it right off the bat. I didn't realize it was evident to others. I hate it, though. What do I do? Go to a speech therapist?

The other thing is that I've been having more headaches lately that I'm sure are stress-related. They only occur when I'm freaked out about school, but the weird thing is that they always occur in the same place. It's a localized, dull pain on the left side of the back of my head, an area about the size of my hand. Put your left elbow on the edge of the desk and prop your head on your hand with your hand at the base of the back of your head. It's right there. I'm not surprised about the headaches, but it does surprise me that's it's always in that one, localized asymmetrical spot.
  • Current Music
    Bruce Cockburn: "Adeste Fidelis"